malloryannwhitten:

i recorded myself reading a poem called

“adderall diets, switching from beer to wine, & monitoring your pizza intake vs. everyone else’s” 

for the shabby dollhouse mixtape volume 2 that is now available online

(Source: shabbydollhouse)

willisplummer:

Parents sent me this article with accompanying message “Willis, can we talk about this? love you”

messageunicorn:

51

vicemag:

Dumbledore skillfully demonstrating—to no one, alone in his room, suffering from insomnia—the extremely difficult, polycognitive, 2-wand/3-function technique for “small-object levitation” that he developed over 40 years ago and has since honed to virtuosic levels, privately and with immense shame, as the technique’s only known purpose is for [what he’s doing now], which occurs with such consistently surprising frequency that Dumbledore “can’t help but feel amused” whenever it happens again, despite his embarrassment and earnest disapproval of its seemingly unending recurrence (though usually he realizes “it has happened again” only after he’s ingested an amount of pills and is chemically inclined to feel amused about it): levitating pills [toward him], [away from him], [in place] for as long as 50 minutes while struggling in a neurotic and despairing manner to “calculate” the optimal combination of pills he should ingest to guarantee a satisfactory night’s sleep, maintain a relatively low tolerance for at least one class of drug, and appear functional to others the next day—an especially difficult decision tonight because Dumbledore is additionally trying to “factor in” that he keeps feeling like he “has to” pee (has gone to the bathroom six times in the past hour, each time “trickling” zero to five drops into the toilet) and that, in a horribly devastating* error, he ingested one of the three** Adderall that he initially levitated [toward him] thinking they were “orange Valium,” a nonexistent “hybrid pill” that he daydreamed about a few days ago while staring with 80% unfocused eyes at someone’s ear at a Quidditch match.

 

*Dumbledore has a low Adderall tolerance and likely won’t sleep at all tonight even if he ingests everything currently levitated that isn’t Adderall

**Dumbledore is currently levitating the remaining two Adderall [away from him] with an incredibly applied quality of controlled acceleration (the Adderall will decelerate beautifully, one can tell, as they near the dresser) that is truly virtuosic, having channeled most of his anger/frustration not into “curse words” or “hitting things,” like many of his peers, he feels, but “wand control”—something he learned to do as a small child and has always felt to be the principle factor in his success in life, not “talent” or “chance” or even “hard work”

TAO LIN

http://heheheheheheheeheheheehehe.com/

Previously: Extreme close-up of a 30mg Adderall

willisplummer:

12 retweets, 39 favorites. 

vicemag:

Boyle’s Brains - Methods of Escaping Eight New Levels of Hell

OUT OF ADDERALL HELL
This new level of Hell involves eating sugary-tasting toilet paper embedded with precious orange dust molecules that are supposed to help your brain work, but more often lead to 40-minute sprees of neurotically editing late replies to emails, with the hope that their impending completions will motivate you to refocus on neurotically editing the document you originally purchased the Adderall to help you write.

Escape Route:
Write about being out of Adderall.

WRITING ABOUT BEING OUT OF ADDERALL HELL
This level of Hell is hard to write about because it involves abandoning some kind of self-containment you had about not wanting to write about Adderall. There is something shameful and gimmicky about what you are doing. Now you are writing about writing and drugs. You said you wouldn’t do that. Your boyfriend doesn’t like it when you do that. If you find yourself in these first two new levels of Hell it probably means you lack a drug dealer or a prescription, which probably means you don’t talk to many people, and one of the many people you don’t talk to is a therapist. That is partially true. Your dad is a therapist. Is it OK to ask him for Adderall? Each sentence you write about being out of Adderall prolongs this level of Hell.

Escape Route:
Take sexy pictures of your ass in the mirror.

SEXY ASS HELL
The pictures of your ass on your phone look OK, but when uploaded and maximized on your computer look five times worse than your ass on your phone, which means your ass in real life looks at least five times worse than it does on your computer. What were your plans for those pictures, anyway?

Escape Route:
Buy a new outfit from that vintage place you’ve been meaning to check out.

Continue

Noah Cicero interview

drawing by Mallory Whitten re Brandon Scott Gorrell’s All The Drugs I’ve Taken